… And another thing!

21 Apr
Now that the amino acids one isn’t on anymore, my favourite Made Up Science Hair Advert of the moment is for a hair dye which claims to provide "up to 100% grey coverage"! Amazing. Did you know, the easter egg I am munching through is made of up to 100% spinach; and I am up to 100% brilliant at the flying trapeze. Up to 100% includes the number 0. I’d be mighty impressed if any hair dye managed to provide over 100% grey coverage. What would that do? Give all the red squirrels in the vicinity a makeover too?
The other advert worthy of note and projectiles is, I’m sure you’ll agree, the beautifully delicate advertisement for a "stool softener", which has some middle-aged ladies who lunch sitting round casually discussing their bowel movements over a soy latte. The woman proposing the cure is totally unabashed to produce it from her handbag and chuckle fondly about her previous stool experiences. Their conversation is actually so cringe-worthy that I cannot bear to type it out. *Shudder*
Okay. This advert was written by men, right? Men who quaintly believe that women discuss everything with each other. Men who believe that when women go to the toilet together, they actually go into the same cubicle. Dudes – no businesswomen are every going to discuss their poo over a lunch meeting. Not to say that I have never had such discussions with other ladies (and gentlemen) over lunch, but hey, when you’re on a mission trip together, your bodily functions are the equivalent of a soap opera. That’s different. I really think the only way to advertise these things is to stop trying to subtly introduce the subject in a cringetastic manner, but to just shout, CONSTIPATION? and then the product name. Let’s call a spade a spade. So to speak.
Sorry if I’ve put you off your dinner. See, that’s exactly what stool woman would have done to those poor ladies in the cafe.
And breathe, and put down the remote.
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2 Responses to “… And another thing!”

  1. Anne Thomas 22/04/2009 at 10:19 pm #

    Come, come Mel. You have no positive proof that the ad was written by men…… could have been a stool pigeon!

  2. Anne Thomas 22/04/2009 at 10:19 pm #

    Hey – I’m not sure why the word ‘available’ sits by my name… available for what? Hang-gliding tuition? Do explain how I can remove it!

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